When a computer is connected to the internet...the moment the first page is looked at, cookies and spyware attached themselves to the hardware and software of the system. These minute busybodies do all kinds of things to make the computer slower, including talking to whoever can hear them letting them know anything from what pages are viewed to what personal information that may have been entered into the browser when buying something from Amazon or bidding on something from Ebay. It's the dirty, not so secret mystery of the web. The most innocent of webpages will leave their mark. Just how malious is the question. But, never doubt, the mark is there.
When computers first were being used in the home and were gaining access to the net, cookies were innocent for the most part. They actually were there to help the computer load webpages quicker. They seemed good for the computer. A few years later, Windows told us to clean them with "disc clean". Not the strongest of programs, but good enough for the problems of the time. Now it would be considered a joke to rely on that program to protect any computer that has access. We now have software that we spend anywhere from twenty to one hundred dollars on (don't rely or believe in the free programs, they tend to be loaded with their own spyware) to clean out the possible tracers in our systems. Cookies, Spyware, Trojans, Viruses, and all those nasty things that are floating out there have some people too scared to use the computers that we have become so used to having at hand.
So, what's the point? Here's the point.
As we walk through our lives, we go from day to day, situation to situation, and relationship to relationship collecting and gathering small pieces of matter that attach themselves to us and ride us from day to day. The moments in our lives create experiences that mark us and tell our story to whoever is able to look close enough to read them.
Here's the problem.
There is no "Spysweeper" that is going to wash away these parasites from our external vestige. We can learn lessons from the moments, we can gain knowledge from the moments, and we can share this knowledge. But, no matter how much you spend on your soap, no matter how much you scrub...those storytellers are never going to remove themselves. You carry them for the rest of your life.
We all go through bad times. We all have moments that we are not proud of in our lives. We all have those things that we don't feel we could ever share with anyone. And when we are aware of those things, we feel as if we wear them like a namebadge. "Hello, My name is Chuck and I was a bad husband."
The terror of it all is thinking that we can never overcome the dings and dents in our lives. Like I said, they are never going away. They are history, written in the book of our lives that can never be erased. But, what we can do is come to terms with them and come to terms with the realization that we can make them less of who we are and more about the life lessons we have learned. We can understand that there hasn't been a "perfect" person on this planet for over 2000 years. We can also realize that the last perfect person is the only Spyware that we need in our lives. He is willing to release these things from us and our insecure personalities and forgive us for them.
Not trying to get on a soap box here. Not trying to preach. What I am trying to do is remind myself through my writing that what I can do with the horrible things I have done in my life is to turn them over to someone more equipped in dealing with these "viruses" than I can ever hope to be. And once that is done...the lessons learned from the mistakes I have made can make me a better person and maybe someone that could be good for someone else.
Because, when you think about it...that is what life is all about. Being the best we can be for ourselves and for others.
The most important fact to remember is that it's never too late. We just have to be willing, sincere, and able to forgive ourselves.
I am trying to get there. We all need to get there. Lets get there...together if we need to do that.
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