Okay, lack of sleep makes my mind wander to the trivial. I am not going to lie, I am fully aware that I have way too much time on my hands. But, sometimes…the only way to get this crap out of my head is to put it to paper and share it. So, here are a few things that have crawled through my mind over the last few days.
Elin Nordegren aka Mrs. Tiger Woods - Really? $750 million? Three quarters of a BILLION dollars. That breaks down to, if she were to live another 45 years, approximately 1.7 million dollars a year. Need it broken down more? That is just over $45,000 a day. For being a wife and mother. Don’t get me wrong, what he did was disgraceful. He should be ashamed. And I don’t believe any clinic cures anyone from being a dawg. You don’t sit in a few group sessions and cure yourself of chasing Denny’s waitresses. It’s something that is there created by power, arrogance, and a complete lack of respect for self and others. And that is an infection that the mortal man has a hard time letting go of, reference Billy Clinton. But, $45,000 a day is the punishment? The money is going to come from golf and the only club this young lady has ever swung has been at his windshield. Okay, it was a really good stroke that had him slice his Escalade into a tree, but not worth this kind of payment. I don’t feel sorry for him. But, he is paying a very high price for chasing a few waitresses. Someone needs to introduce the man to the concept of a “tip”. You just leave a little more than the check and then you leave. You owe your waitress nothing more than that. I’ll bet this is a lesson he will never forget, being reminded every day when he writes that check. And lesson number one in the “cheaters” handbook is, never, ever give your phone number to the woman on the side. This is proof positive that when men think with the wrong head, our IQ points drop in half.
George W. Bush - I read recently that our former president is receiving anywhere between $300,000 and $500,000 an appearance to have him speak. There is also talk of building a library for him. Really? Are our memories so short that we don’t remember the eight years this man spent publicly showing the world just what a disgrace our educational system has become. He can’t string three sentences together without a speech writer, a vocal coach, and cue cards. And people are paying him to speak? Our president is supposed to be the best representation of our knowledge, class, moral integrity, and common sense. When are we going to come to terms that we made a huge error in judgment (twice) and put this walking puppet back in his box, never to be seen again?
Paris Hilton/The Kardashians/Housewives of …wherever - We have made “celebrities” of people for doing…ahhh….nothing. Look, I don’t expect some deep thought provoking revelation from every person I come across. I realize that is too much pressure to put on the human race. But, damn…why these people? Paris Hilton is famous for two things….the hotels with her last name and a sex tape. That’s it. Everything else we know about her stems from those two things. Her ancestors spent lifetimes creating a name on a product that represents one of the bests in what they do. And she has spent somewhere around thirty years turning that name into a joke. The Kardashians? Are you really aware of how we know them? Two things. One, their father was a best friend of O. J. Simpson, he was one of the lawyers that represented him and if you watch that verdict tape, you can see, by the look on his face, that he was the most surprised person in the room when he realized his buddy actually go away with it. The other thing? Bruce Jenner. A lot of people hardly realize who he is, but when I was a kid he was “the” athlete. He was the cover of the Wheaties box. Now, he is the butt of most of the jokes on that stupid, stupid show. And that brings us to the “Housewives…” . All of these types of shows are born out of the MTV show “Real World”. The first couple of seasons of that show were actually interesting. Soap operas in real life. But, once those involved realized they could get famous doing these “reality” shows, the show went in the toilet. And everything since has been just another trip into the bowl. But, they are everywhere. And the truth in the matter is that it’s not really about who is on it. It’s the fact that, America, apparently really enjoys watching train wrecks. It’s the Jerry Springer effect. The guilty pleasure that we don’t want to admit we watch, but we catch it once in awhile just to convince ourselves that we aren’t as screwed up as we think we might be. Not compared to those nuts. Free therapy. What’s next? Where is the next step on this ladder into brain dead distraction? I am not sure, but I will tell you this…the thought of what it could be scares the hell out of me.
And for the sports fans:
LeBron James - Okay, he is a amazing ball player. He came out of high school, straight to the pros and lit it up. But, over the last few months, with his contract with Cleveland ending and his move to free agency, he has been mentioned on ESPN and other sports programs delay. It’s the LeBron James auction. Who’s going to be the biggest money bags to get him to come to their team? I will be honest when I tell you that I will be shocked if he leaves Cleveland. But, if he did, that wouldn’t bother me as much as the hype over all this. He has had his name mentioned in the same sentence as Michael Jordan. Really? The greatest player ever to lace them up? Really? Here’s the problem with that….HE HASN”T WON ANYTHING! A great talent? Sure. But, you can’t put your name in the same sentence as MJ, or Magic, or Bird, or Wilt until you win at least a couple of championships. MVP is an individual award. Basketball is a team sport. Win the trophy and then come to me with this argument.
I guess that’s enough for tonight. Need to get some sleep. Happy 4th all.
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